Is your ex seeing someone else and still claiming that he loves you? Let’s talk about what this means…
Today’s question comes from a woman in our community and she asks…
“Hey Matt, why does my ex-boyfriend still think I’m beautiful and says he loves me and that I’m almost perfect…
But he’s seeing someone else? I don’t understand this. He knows I still love him so why would he say these things to me?? Is he just playing with my feelings?”
The answer to this is…
No, he’s not playing with your feelings. He’s simply expressing his feelings.
Here’s something that you really need to understand about men…
Love isn’t everything to most men.
There are a lot of things that are way more important to most men than love is.
One of those things is respect.
Have you ever been in love with someone who didn’t treat you with respect or do you know someone who has?
If he respects himself and you don’t treat him with respect, there’s a good chance that love won’t be enough for him to stay with you.
Another thing that is more important to men than love is feeling good over a long period of time.
If he’s in love with you but you’re fighting all the time and he’s feeling miserable in the relationship, there’s a good chance that he loves you but he won’t stay through the misery.
There are a lot of reasons why he might not be with you and he might go and be with someone else, even if he still loves you.
Here are some more of those things…
He has insecurities that he needs to deal with.
If he has feelings of not being worthy or he’s afraid that you’ll find out who he really is and that you won’t love him for it, he might end up leaving because he doesn’t want to ruin your idea of who you think he is.
Here’s another one…
He doesn’t feel like you fit in with the type of woman or the type of relationship he wants to have.
Maybe you’re not fully his type. Maybe you’re not the type of woman that he would want to have raising his children.
He doesn’t feel like you have similar values. That could be a huge deal breaker for him.
He might need someone who isn’t serious right now.
Maybe he has things going on in his life that he feels pulls him away from fully being with you and so he needs someone who is less serious about being in a relationship.
For a lot of men, being able to provide for a woman and a family is one of the hallmarks of being a man.
And if he doesn’t have that ability or he’s afraid he might lose that ability in the future, he may stay out of a serious relationship until he can.
I know a lot of women I talk to don’t understand why a man feels like he needs to do that but being able to provide for a family is a real concern for men.
Something’s Missing For Him
And if he said that you’re “almost perfect” for him. There’s probably something that he needs that you either can’t or won’t fulfill for him.
I’m not sure what exactly is going on in your situation because the question is somewhat vague but it sounds like there’s something missing for him.
He still loves you and love just isn’t enough.
Maybe he needs to grow with you and he doesn’t feel like he can. Maybe you guys fight too much when you’re together.
If he feels like you’re fighting all the time and he doesn’t want to fight, that could be enough for him to give up.
There are a lot of things like that that could happen which would destroy a man’s desire to be with you long term and look at as someone he could potentially be with for the rest of his life.
Why You Can’t Win Back Your Ex…
If you’ve tried getting back together with your ex, you know that it can seem impossible… but here’s the thing…
I’ve been coaching in the dating industry for over 12 years and I’ve seen literally hundreds of people break up and get back together.
And whenever a woman gets back together with her ex, it’s because she’s realized one very specific thing…
Here it is:
It’s not about HER.
You see, guys rarely break up with a woman because they don’t like the woman (even if that’s what he says in the heat of the moment).
Most of these guys happily jump back into a SEXUAL relationship with that woman.
If it was about the woman, this would NEVER happen.
Instead, it’s about something much more important to him…
And if you fix this one thing, you can make him putty in your hands and get him pursuing you for a REAL relationship again.
If you want to know what that one thing is, I created a video for you to help explain it…
Getting back together with a man isn’t complicated as long as you understand what’s REALLY going on.
If you make it about you, you’ll just drive him away even further.
But if you understand what the real problem is, you can have him back before you know it…