Why do the men I like disappear or dislike me?

Why do the men I like disappear or dislike me? Why do I not want the men who want me?

Here’s a comment/question that I received from a woman in our community:

This is what I have found: The men that you have fun with, have lots in common with & you really like, either disappear or they don’t want you. Then there are men that really like you & stay in touch, but you don’t want them

 

I understand that this can be extremely frustrating. But there’s a very good reason that this happens. Let me tell you what it is…

I talk about this in my new program that I’m just putting the finishing touches on (it’s called Make Him Want You). The reason you’re either attracted to him and he’s not attracted to you, or vice versa, is because of the imbalance of power… specially, what I call, “Attraction Power.”

Attraction power is made of many things including your physical attractiveness, your confidence, your availability, how much power you think you have and a whole bunch of other factors. If your attraction power is much greater than his, he’ll be totally into you and you won’t care for him a bit.

If his attraction power is much greater than yours, you’ll be totally into him and he won’t care much for you. There are a lot factors involved if you want him to be into you and you to stay into him… but it all boils down to one concept… and it’s this…

If you want to be attracted to him and keep him attracted to you, you must keep a balance of power.

If the balance of power shifts too far in either your favor or his, one of you will no longer be attracted to the other and the other will fall madly in love and wonder how you could be so cruel to not want him in your life when he likes you so much.

Let me give you some help in developing your attraction power with men…

As a former player (I’m in a committed relationship now) and men’s dating coach, let me tell you my secret 4 step formula to making a woman want to sleep with a guy… BTW, this will help you be more sexually attractive to a man as well if you need that.

1. Know about a lot of stuff and have a cool lifestyle (AKA have lots in common with lots of people).
2. Be fun and playful with all women you meet (AKA make them have fun with you).
3. Understand and know how to push a woman’s buttons and get her to really like you.
4. Be comfortable in all situations, especially around the topic of sex and in sexual situations and create these situations and conversations when appropriate.

Here’s my formula for creating a long-term relationship with a woman (this will help you with men as well)…

1. Find someone who is in alignment with you, your lifestyle, and your values.
2. Know how to push her buttons and make her feel sexually attracted to you (see previous formula if you need help).
3. Be open, honest, and vulnerable with her and start these types of conversations.
4. Support her emotionally and show her that you can be there for her if she needs you.
5. Be the type of man that she would want to have in her life (don’t just think you deserve a great woman, develop yourself and have it together so that you DO deserve a great woman)

There are a lot of differences between a great date and a great long-term mate. A great date is fun, interesting, and attractive… a long term mate might be those things as well but he’s a lot more than that.

And if you spend all your time focusing on whether a guy makes a great date and not whether he’d make a great long-term mate, you’re missing more than half of the equation.

So there are really two things here that you need to focus on. The first is your attraction power. The second is making sure that you focus on the things that will help you create a long-term relationship with the man you want.

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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2 Comments

  • Meghan

    Reply Reply May 20, 2015

    Excellent point so many people think it is up to the stars aligning and there is much more going on there. I am now an a happy long term healthy relationship thanks to Matt but find his site fascinating and continue to follow him. I spent so much time dating focusing on my outside personality that I failed to connect on a real level. Being honest and vulnerable opened up a whole new world following Matt’s advice as to how and when to do that was key as well. What makes a great date and what makes a great mate are excellent areas to study.

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