Sometimes waiting for a man to grow up can be pure heartbreak. You may know you love him. Maybe he’s a long-time friend or a crush you’ve had forever. But you always knew he just wasn’t ready to settle down yet. He had to sow some oats, meet some people, follow his dreams…yada yada.
But you knew that at some point he was going to settle down. He was going to get serious about a relationship and maybe even a family.
Now the question is, is he really going to go after the trophy wife or the “perfect 10” woman that Bruce Wayne might show off?
You might think so, but statistically speaking, that’s just not the case. The most successful men in the world usually don’t marry supermodels. They don’t find an empty personality sexy or interesting.
But you’re right…they don’t marry the girl next door either – no matter what romance novels might tell us!
Yes, they do have very specific criteria when it’s time to settle down. That’s what we’re going to talk about today. What do successful and confident men look for in a woman when they’re ready to get serious about a relationship?
Let’s discuss five patterns that we’ve all noticed over the years…
1. Successful men marry honest and hard-working women.
The cliche of the spoiled queen or trophy wife is a stereotype worth retiring because it’s rarely seen anymore. Most successful men tend to marry women who complement their own work ethic. He works hard for what he has and admires a woman who does the same.
He also admires honesty, because in most cases, an honest living is what he has built for himself – and he’s done a great job of staying the course. No, he will never respect a “girl” that feeds off his wealth and does the bare minimum.
But he will always be impressed with a woman who has made great strides on her own, and in her own career. She’s successful, she’s independent, and she’s quite simply, his “perfect match” professionally.
2. Successful men marry good communicators.
The last thing a good man wants is to be shamed and heartbroken over a divorce! So it’s no surprise that successful men avoid women who are immature, egotistical, or too “high maintenance” to live with.
He doesn’t want to fail. He doesn’t want the marriage to slowly deteriorate into a marriage all for show. He really wants to give his best effort to make the relationship work.
But he can only do so much – especially if he’s busy at work. That means he wants a mate that is committed to him, and the family unit they are making.
What makes a marriage last? Communication, of course. Good communicators keep a marriage strong. They are straight forward, courageous, and yet always controlled – not angry or overly critical.
They don’t avoid conflict, but minimize hostility. Believe that your newly “serious” man has already had a string of bad relationships that were characterized by rage, selfishness, and ego. He’s definitely not going to marry that! He wants to move far away from those type of volatile relationships if he wants to settle down and get married.
That’s why he’s going to look for a good communicator, a capable wife, and a great “manager” of his new family life.
3. Successful men marry someone that loves life!
One old cliche that might well be true is the Daddy Warbucks cliche. You know, the guy with a heart of gold (and fairly successful) who is a little prickly on the outside. He’s such a hard worker, and maybe a little jaded, that sometimes he needs to be reminded of just how much fun living can be!
No wonder, successful family men are always attracted to happy and positive-minded women. Not only is a fun and upbeat woman more pleasant to talk to, but she very often inspires him. Reminds him just how great his life is!
She’s like a rainbow, or a breath of fresh air, one that refreshes him after a long day at work. She always seems to find the silver lining. She always finds a reason to be happy and stay hopeful, even in the darkest times.
That’s the kind of mother he looks for, when he wants to raise a family. Someone who loves life and will love his children just as much as him.
4. Successful men marry women who remind them of their own family.
OK, now I’m not going to be creepy and say men marry a younger version of their moms, because that’s just a bit too Freudian and weird to be true.
But here’s what’s true: men do marry partners who they relate to, and who they understand immediately upon meeting them.
A man is most attracted to a woman with a similar background, similar values, and who seems a little “familiar.”
“I feel like I’ve known you all my life” certainly applies because he will be more comfortable with someone who has similar traits as his mom, dad, siblings, friends, grandparents – and well, everyone else that he’s ever loved!
As a boy grows into a man, he learns how to be a man from his family and his small social circle. He may become extremely popular over time, but he remembers the love shown by his family.
So don’t think that cultivating wholesome qualities like intelligence, maturity, patience, and compassion is a waste of time.
Boys may not see the value in being a good person, but grown men do. And that’s the family dynamic they want to marry into.
5. Successful men want to marry a loyal wife – not a sexy roommate.
Look, a wealthy and successful guy is thrilled to have an ambitious wife and someone who’s his equal in every way.
But at the end of the day, he DOES want you to be supportive of him. Not just supportive, but fiercely loyal to the family and always, enthusiastically, in his corner!
He wants a teammate, a partner who takes responsibility and commitment seriously.
She doesn’t just love “the children” – she adores him!
She appreciates what he does for her, and what kind of man he is, behind all the peripherals. She not only expresses thanks for what he does for the family, but she looks for the little details of what he does for HER. She pays close attention to this man’s particular love language.
She feels every bit of affection. She notices every sacrifice he makes for her.
She is his partner AND his best friend. She would never insult him in front of others, or doubt his promises, or second-guess his mind. She wouldn’t have married him if she didn’t have a deep respect for his character. She believes in her man and that’s the most expensive thing in the world, that not even money can buy!
These are the golden qualities that a man will always look for when he’s ready for a serious relationship. Cultivate these qualities and you will attract a higher class of man – one that YOU deserve!
