This article contains the raw truth about how men evaluate women.
As such, parts of it may be difficult to read… possibly even offensive.
I considered leaving out the parts that don’t reflect favorably on my gender. But then I would have to change the subtitle to something like, ‘The Somewhat Honest Truth.’
I apologize in advance for any discomfort you may feel as I pull back the curtain, because my goal is to give you the raw truth.
So I’m going to reveal the inner workings of a man’s mind as he evaluates a woman as a potential romantic partner.
Rest assured, these are not simply my opinions. This information was carefully gleaned from hundreds of research studies and hundreds of private conversations with men.
I should also mention there are many factors that I leave out of this brief report which impact how men evaluate women.
I have chosen to focus on the most powerful factors that influence how men evaluate women.
Let’s get started…
Your Sexual Vibrancy
Men unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) evaluate women based on characteristics related to sex and the potential for healthy offspring.
This is true even among older men dating women who are postmenopausal. Men don’t feel that special ‘in love’ feeling unless there is some level of sexual attraction.
This is true even for men who are not shallow. Men who are capable of having a deep romantic relationship based on more than physical chemistry.
Don’t ignore the importance of connecting with a man on a physical level. It’s where his attraction to you will start.
Fortunately, the most important aspect of sexual vibrancy is something you can consciously control.
We’ll get to that in a minute. But first let’s discuss what effects the way a man experiences a woman in terms of her sexual vibrancy.
Many women like fashion. They like to impress friends with new outfits and trendy colors for everything from toenail polish to lip gloss.
The truth is, men are only turned on by a small set of variables. Variables that are biologically hardwired into their brains.
The most powerful of these variables differentiate women from men.
Tomboys make for good friends. But they rarely have men longing for a special kind of committed relationship.
In other words, your femininity is sexy. You want to fully embrace aspects of your body that differentiate you from a man.
One of those factors is your waist to hip ratio. Men typically have very little difference in the circumference of their waste relative to their hips. Naturally, women have wider hips relative to a narrower waist.
Scientists have discovered a ‘golden ratio’ for what men nearly universally find most attractive.
It’s not a stick-thin woman that men feel automatically attracted to.
Here’s a quick piece of advice to help you accentuate the curve of your body. Stand like a
woman, not like a man.
Men tend to stand with their legs set wider apart. It’s a somewhat dominant stance and more natural to men.
Women can accentuate the way their body triggers a man’s sexual interest. Simply adopt a feminine stance.
Keep your feet close together. Allow your hip to jut out to one side. This causes the differentiation between your hip and your waste to become exaggerated. That will unconsciously trigger his attraction toward you.
Even though the model in the picture has small breasts, she has a great deal of sex appeal to men.
Because of the curve of her waist. Notice how she pushes her hip out to one side to accentuate this.
You don’t have to be this skinny to get the effect. However, if your belly protrudes to the front or sides to a large extent, your curve can be reversed. You can invest in your love life by taking the difficult steps toward losing weight.
Another powerful factor is a woman’s hair.
Don’t cut your hair short. It may be in style. It may be cute. But it will not attract men on a primal level.
I won’t go into all the details. I’ll just say that you should aim for the longest hairstyle you feel comfortable with that is currently in style.
You probably don’t need to be reminded of this one. But improving your complexion will have an enormous impact on a man’s unconscious mental evaluation.
The truth is, makeup works. Let’s say you’ve already done everything you can to naturally improve your skin complexion.
You don’t have particularly nice looking skin. You can trigger a man’s attraction by using a light cover that improves the appearance of pores and complexion.
Another area where makeup has an effect on men is darker or longer eyelashes. Everything else will make little impression on a man.
In fact, using rouge and any lipstick color other than red will have no impact on a man’s biological attraction response. It can actually detract from his attraction to you.
You may think only a shallow person would judge someone based on the size of her pores. Or the length of her eyelashes. But remember, this is an automatic process in the mind of a man.
It cannot be turned off. It’s like opening your eyes and trying not to see the tree in front of you.
Your brain automatically decodes the barrage of light striking the retina in your eye. And it sends an image to your mind. You can’t stop doing it.
In the same way, a man cannot turn off his automatic sense of attraction toward a woman whose physical characteristics accentuate her feminine traits and sexual vibrancy.
All of these factors have to do with sexual vibrancy. Healthy skin, long hair, and womanly curves trigger a man’s brain to mark you as a good sexual partner. One who is healthy enough to produce offspring.
It sounds terribly unromantic. But his desire to become a good mate comes from his desire to have sex.
Embrace this truth. Set yourself free from any insecurities or fears about using your sexuality to attract a quality man.
Here’s the good news. A man will automatically judge a woman’s sexual vibrancy based on her overall energy and attitude. Not just her physical characteristics.
Think about what the word ‘vibrant’ really means. Here are the definitions from the Encarta (North American) English dictionary. Read each one to get a sense of the rich meaning behind this word.
1. Energetic: full of liveliness or energy
2. Pulsating: with energy seeming to quiver or pulsate with energy or activity
3. Resonant: having a full rich sound that tends to continue for some time
4. Bright: dazzling or radiantly bright
When men look for a long-term partner, they look to a woman’s vibrancy. A positive attitude goes hand-in-hand with energy.
Men are attracted to women with a positive, energetic attitude toward life and relationships.
Think about times in your life when you have felt depressed. Or down in the dumps. What happens to your energy?
When things go wrong, our mental energy shuts down.
For people with severe clinical depression, getting out of bed can be difficult. Because of a loss of interest. And a lack of motivation for pursuing goals.
The opposite happens when we become excited about some event in the future.
You get a raise. Or simply realize it’s Friday afternoon and you have the weekend off. Your energy increases.
Positive expectations for the future increase energy. Loss or negative expectations about the future shut down our mental energy.
A woman’s capacity for reproduction is intricately interlaced with her energy level and attitude toward life.
It may not be romantic. But these unconscious psychological factors influence the primal attraction men feel.
Research studies have confirmed it. The top reason men give regarding their initial attraction to a woman they later asked to marry comes down to this:
“I don’t know how to explain it. She seemed so happy and energetic.”
There are many ways to be energetic. You can tailor this information to fit with your particular personality and style.
For example, some women enjoy playful banter that demonstrates the sharpness of their wit. Other women show their energy in their facial expressions and playful physical gestures.
The key is to allow your positive energy to shine through and be visible on the outside.
The Next Layer of Attraction
Physical attraction gives a spark to a relationship. But it remains an important factor in long-term relationships and marriages.
Keeping that spark alive requires attention and conscious effort. That said, a man’s evaluation of a woman has to do with more than just physical attraction.
In this section, we’ll discuss the two most powerful variables that a man evaluates in a woman’s personality. They can be summarized with two questions:
1. Will she enhance or interfere with my freedom?
2. Will she contribute or interfere with my success?
Not all men have enough introspection to explain it with words. But all men have an obsession with freedom. We don’t like to answer to a boss.
Men often enjoy camping out and hunting. These activities make us feel the thrill of freedom. Playing around with the idea that we could survive all on our own in nature.
Most entrepreneurs are men. The number one driving force for entrepreneurs is the desire to be free. It’s ironic.
Men will work more hours with fewer benefits and lower pay. To achieve a sense of independence.
So where do you fit into a man’s desire for freedom?
The answer is complicated. It depends on many factors that have to do with his particular circumstances, hobbies, and sources of joy in life.
The key is for you to ask that question yourself. Where do you fit into your man’s desire for freedom?
By asking this question, you empower yourself to interact with him in ways that cause him to evaluate you as a good long-term partner.
One example is a woman who freely encourages a man to take time to spend with â€˜the guys.’
This will actually encourage him to more actively pursue her. To the point that ‘the guys’ get irritated at his absence. Because he spends all of his time chasing her.
Ever heard the term ‘high maintenance?” This is why it matters to guys. A high maintenance woman threatens a man’s freedom if she requires excessive time, money, or power over her man’s life.
One of my clients recently asked for my advice in a relationship that was going bad. She had been fairly serious with this boyfriend for quite some time.
She relayed how he told her he needed some space. He wasn’t sure he could manage the stress of the relationship.
I interviewed her to uncover any reason he might feel stressed by the relationship. She relayed an unfortunate sequence of events involving her own poor health and some relationship strain with family members.
It caused her to lean on him more than she ever intended for several months. He did basic things, such as drive her to surgery and help her through her recovery.
We discussed the road to healing the relationship. And I advised her to write him a letter that contained the story of their relationship.
She was a very strong, independent woman with many resources, talents and skills. She was in no way a dependent personality type.
Yet he had experienced the relationship as a burden. It diminished his freedom rather than enhancing it.
We refined her letter to paint a beautiful picture of the relationship and its potential.
The story included the period of time where he became burdened. And the story went on to describe the way this series of events created a misperception that she would hamper his freedom.
The last part of her story painted a picture of the potential future if the relationship was to heal and continue. She described how she would enhance dreams he had.
For example, she described how she would keep up the home he dreamed of owning deep in the woods. How she would care for the sheltered dogs he wanted to take in but couldn’t care for consistently due to his job as a pilot.
It was a beautiful story that literally brought tears to my eyes. Because of the genuine, pure desire of this woman to enhance the freedom of a man she truly loved.
How could he say no to that? When a man evaluates a woman, he evaluates the effect the relationship will have on his freedom.
Success and Respect
The second powerful question driving a man’s evaluation of a woman’s personality relates to his desire for success.
For women, the ultimate success in life is often defined in terms of meaningful relationships and love. It’s no different for men. But the conditions in which they feel loved are very different.
Men feel successful when they are powerful, effective, and loved by people they have a deep, meaningful relationship with. But for men, feeling loved requires that they feel respected.
For a man, success is meaningless if others demonstrate subtle indications of disrespect despite their accomplishments. Even having an extremely attractive wife could be a measure of ‘success’ in the minds of some men.
But the relationship will not last if the woman is in any way condescending toward him.
Men simply cannot thrive when their ego is being trotted upon.
The problem is the way a man feels disrespected is often a mystery to women. A woman can claim to have a great deal of respect for a man.
But she will often push him away without realizing the ways her words and actions were
interpreted as disrespect.
When a man evaluates a woman, he automatically and unconsciously makes a mental judgment.
How will she contribute or detract from his sense of ‘success’ as a man? How will she build him up in the ways that make him feel manly and respected?
This relationship factor is so powerful. And so deeply misunderstood by so many women.
So we have developed instruction materials focused on bridging the gap between women’s desire to build a loving committed relationship with a man.
And her understanding of the respect principle the way men experience it.
Watch a free presentation about the respect principle.
1. Let your curves do the talking.
Wear clothes that fit snugly against your hip and waist.
2. Practice a feminine pose in front of a mirror.
Jut your hip out slightly to accentuate the curves in your body.
3. Make a weight loss plan.
Don’t see curves when you look in the mirror? Consider whether it would be worth it to you to lose some weight. And get healthier in the process.
4. Look for a longer hairstyle.
Browse celebrity magazines. Cut out a style you like. Show your hair professional as you grow your hair longer. It really does make a big difference.
You’ll erase the androgynous effect of a short hairdo. Even a cute one.
5. Improve the health of your hair and skin.
Use moisturizers and conditioners. Consider biotin to thicken your hair.
I’ve worked with many women who’ve had great success with 3000 mcg of biotin in a product like Nature’s Bounty ‘Skin, Hair, and Nails’. Thick, healthy hair is very attractive to men of all ages.
6. Think about the way you interact with men.
Think about the way you spend time and interact with your boyfriend or new dating partners.
Do you do or say things that could cause him to feel smothered? Think about ways to
communicate your willingness to participate in enhancing his freedom.
7. Watch for times when a man pulls away or becomes quiet and grumpy.
There is a good chance he’s feeling unloved because of the way men equate love and respect.
You may have done something that seems normal to you. But you inadvertently caused him to feel disrespected.
8. Watch a video on the respect principle.
It reveals a simple idea that has a profound impact on the way men will respond to you.
Want to find out how you can use a subtle form of respect to turn on a man’s
deep affection for you?