Have you ever felt like things were going great with a guy and then, all of a sudden, he stopped calling and pursuing you?
Many times, when a woman falls in love with a man, she feels like she needs to show him that she’s interested, as much as possible, for the fear of losing him to mix signals.
She thinks that if she makes it absolutely certain to him that she’s in love, that he will somehow understand this and stay with her because of it.
This can show up in many ways… sending him messages to let him know she’s thinking about him, calling him and inviting him to come out and join her in whatever she’s doing, asking him probing questions about how he feels about her and their relationship, contacting him to find out why he hasn’t contacted her… etc.
And while this may seem harmless and friendly, if you do it often enough, it can destroy his attraction for you. Men are attracted to women who seem like they’re a catch. He’s attracted to what makes him feel like you’re valuable and not just waiting around for him.
While you don’t always have to wait for him to initiate conversations and invitations, giving him some space to pursue you allows him to feel masculine.
It allows him to feel like you’re more valuable, even if you’re already in a relationship.
Men like to have their space. And when a woman constantly invites him out and contacts him, he will begin to feel overwhelmed, even if he accepts her invitations.
If you do this out of fear of losing him, he will feel it.
The next time you’re about to contact him, ask yourself this:
“Am I taking this action from a space of fear or love?”
If you’re coming from a space of fear, he’ll feel your insecurity and will instantly be less attracted to you. He’ll feel like you’re overwhelming him and he’ll want to pull back and give himself some space.
Instead, Give Him the Space First
If you don’t want him to pull away, give him that space first. I know it can be frustrating to sit back if you’re wondering whether or not he likes you.
Instead of smothering him with messages and invitations, allow him to feel a longing for you. A man’s attraction for you grows when he’s not with you.
So if he’s interested, you won’t be the only one starting the conversations.
And if you want to make plans with him, call him up, make a plan to meet a few days ahead of time, and then do your own thing until the date you made comes up.
Have your own friends, your own life, and make yourself valuable by not always being available. Don’t do it as a technique to get him more interested.
Do it because it’s healthy and will add to your life as well. This is a lot more attractive to men than overwhelming them with messages and invites.
Attract Him Instead of Chasing Him
Give him some space and he’ll appreciate you for it. He’ll feel like he wants to be closer to and hold on to you. If you’re constantly pursuing him, he’ll lose interest fast.
When you pursue a man, this turns into a signal for him to just sit back and wait for you. Instead, open a space for him to come in and pursue you.
If you can get him to feel good when he’s around you, taking a step back will make him feel like he wants to move forward into that space that you opened for him. It’ll also allow him to maintain his sense of masculine identity.
When he feels that you are coming from a space of love, he’ll feel that security in you and want to spend more time in that space. Always allow him to feel like he’s a man and that you’re a valuable person worthy of being pursued.
If he feels this way about you, he’ll want to make sure that he holds on to you so that he doesn’t lose you to other men. And once he decides that you’re worthy of holding onto, it will be much easier to create and keep a healthy, lasting, committed relationship with him.
Have you ever wondered how some women meet a guy who seems perfect for them while others get stuck with the same wrong guy over and over again?
After coaching thousands of men and women in their dating and love lives, I’ve discovered there are only a few distinct barriers that stop a woman from attracting a quality man into a committed relationship.
If you’d like to know which one is stopping you, click here to take the quiz. It’s free and I’ll show you exactly what’s stopping you from meeting Mr. Right and what you need to do in order to overcome it.
Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional. Good luck!