What do you make of this “90days” rule of not giving up sex to a new guy? Does it work? Is it an absolute must do? Is there still men who take women who withhold sex seriously? Please help.
A few months ago, I had a woman come to me who was seeing this guy for 4 months (more than 90 days) before they had sex together.
It turns out that the sex they had together was some of the worst sex either of them had in their entire lives. They weren’t on the same page and it ended up being what destroyed the relationship.
The 90 day rule exists for the same reason any other arbitrary rule exists… to protect you. It’s a rule that an overprotective father would probably give to his daughter to prevent her from getting hurt.
The problem with it is that it WON’T prevent you from getting hurt. What it will do is prevent a lot of awesome, genuine guys from wanting to have a real relationship with you…
Because as soon as a guy finds out that you’ve got some made up rules about how you have to wait 3 months to have sex together, he’s going to think you’re playing games with him and any QUALITY guy is going to run for the hills.
Instead, I suggest you figure out what is important to know before getting sexually intimate with a guy. Here are some of those things:
- Do you have an emotional connection together?
- Is he aligned with you on what he wants in a relationship?
- Is he emotionally unavailable or still stuck on an ex of his?
- Does he see you as “commitment material” or just a casual fling?
These are the things you need to know before getting sexually involved with someone. The 90 day rule is just designed to weed out anyone who isn’t serious… the problem is that it’s going to weed out a lot of serious, awesome guys as well.
Thanks a lot Matthew. You make sense. Keep up the good work… Mo – Johannesburg.
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