I'm engaged to get married my fiance is acting different since we got in engage. now I have to prove I'm home I have to take pictures to prove I'm home . I caught him in lies.l already I can't leave anything at his apartment because if I do the next weekend i go see him my stuff is hidden . if I don't answer the phone when he calls I get accused of being with other guys. he goes through my phone all the time . he is always asking me want I'm doing . before we got engaged everything was going great .since we got engaged it's like he is controlling me . I don't know what to do . I been cheated on before . my fiance knows I don't believe in cheating. I really love my fiance I don't know if I should let him go or try to deal with the way he is acting.

Relationship Questions and AdviceCategory: Is He Right for Me?I'm engaged to get married my fiance is acting different since we got in engage. now I have to prove I'm home I have to take pictures to prove I'm home . I caught him in lies.l already I can't leave anything at his apartment because if I do the next weekend i go see him my stuff is hidden . if I don't answer the phone when he calls I get accused of being with other guys. he goes through my phone all the time . he is always asking me want I'm doing . before we got engaged everything was going great .since we got engaged it's like he is controlling me . I don't know what to do . I been cheated on before . my fiance knows I don't believe in cheating. I really love my fiance I don't know if I should let him go or try to deal with the way he is acting.
Anonymous asked 2 years ago
1 Answers
Matthew Coast answered 2 years ago

Hey, thanks for the question.
 
I think you DO know what to do but you’re afraid of what it means to do it. And it’s okay that you’re afraid… we’re all afraid of the most important decisions that we need to make.
 
The truth is that you know what he is doing is completely unacceptable. And you can either continue to a life of misery and have this badge called, “marriage” until you finally get so fed up with things that you want to get a divorce… hoping the whole time that MAYBE he’ll change his behavior and go back to the way things were BEFORE you got engaged…
 
Or you can set some healthy boundaries now… and respect and love yourself enough to stick to those boundaries. And if he doesn’t agree to that and “makes you” do things that you don’t want to do and keeps lying to you, etc… get out of the relationship.
 
Look… nobody can force you to do anything. You’re a grown woman. If you don’t want to send him pictures showing you’re home because he’s paranoid, don’t send him pictures. He’s not your master… and he won’t be your master if you’re married.
 
Stop being a victim of your life and your relationships, take a stand for yourself and decide what it is that you want and what you’re willing to accept. And if he isn’t that and what he’s doing isn’t that… be a grown up, responsible woman and don’t allow him to be in your life.