why men pull away

Why Men Pull Away and How to Make Him Fall in Love

There once was a woman who was very attracted to a guy that she was “just a friend” to. And the more she got to know this man, the more she began to feel attracted to him.

This kept going on until she was deeply and passionately in love with him… yet there was a problem.

The more attracted she became, the more insecure she grew. She couldn’t really figure out whether he felt anything for her or not.

Sometimes, he would act and say things that made her believe that she was something very special to him. But their friendship never progressed into being anything more than just a friendship.

Occasionally, he would open up to her. He’d share something vulnerable and deeply personal. He let her in on his world. Yet…

There was something wrong.

He seemed distant a lot. It was like he would get really close and then pull away… get really close and then pull away.

Sometimes she felt like he loved her. And other times, she wasn’t even sure if he wanted to still be friends.

This drove her to become even more insecure. She was afraid of pushing him away and screwing everything up. She didn’t want to talk to him about it for the fear of making things worse.

And the more insecure she became, the less it seemed that he wanted to be around her.

Finally, she broke down. She decided that she MUST express to him how she feels. She needed to know if he felt the same way!

And that’s what she did. She told him exactly how she felt.

She told him that she was in love and that she wanted to be with him.

And then he told her that he appreciates her for telling him and they spent some time alone, where he held her and kissed her and got physically connected to her.

And as quickly as they came together, he pulled away. He stopped contacting her and told her that he was too busy right now to see her.

She became very confused and didn’t know what to think or do. She began to question it…

Maybe he’s afraid. Maybe he’s not ready for a commitment yet. Maybe he doesn’t love her. But how can she know?!?

Time went on until she finally decided that something HAD to be done. She couldn’t just sit back and wait for him.

She needed to be with him and she wanted him to understand how much he really meant to her.

So, she decided she’d do again like she did before. After she told him how she felt the first time, he got closer right? Maybe it will work a second time…

She wrote him a letter that told him everything. She confessed her feelings and what she wanted and her vision of them being together. She wanted to make absolutely certain that he knew exactly how she felt.

But this time, he didn’t even acknowledge that he received her letter…

So, she called to make sure he got it. And when she did, he made more excuses about how he didn’t have time right now and how busy he was.

Feeling broken hearted, angry, frustrated and alone, she didn’t understand what had happened. Why didn’t he love her the way she loved him?

Now, while this story is a made up one, it’s something that happens to women all the time.

Why?

Because most women don’t understand why men fall in love and what it takes to connect with him emotionally. It doesn’t matter how much she confesses her love or attempts to convince him to love her.

If he doesn’t feel it, all of her attempts at getting him to like her are actually worse than doing nothing at all.

You see, a man can never be convinced to feel attracted to a woman. Confessing her love, showing him how interested she is, and convincing him that he should love her too NEVER works.

If how men fall in love were only that simple and easy!

If you want a guy to feel like he’s in love with you, you have to understand what makes him feel that way and trigger that type of feeling in him.

You have to understand how to make him fall in love with you and why men pull away so that your actions pull him in closer instead of accidentally pushing him away.

Let’s take one at a time…

Why Do Men Pull Away?

Let’s put it this way…

Have you ever had a guy that you weren’t attracted to hit on you? Maybe he complimented you or told you how attractive you are.

Maybe he attempted to get your attention and approval by pleading his case or telling you how he felt about you.

How did you respond to that? If you’re like most women, you probably felt grossed out.

Why? Because no matter what he says to you, if you don’t feel attracted to him, no amount of convincing will make you feel it.

Well, it’s the same thing that happens to men. If a guy doesn’t already feel attracted to you, telling him how interested you are in him will only creep him out.

And then, he may end up disappearing. Or even worse, he might not want to hurt your feelings so he’ll drag the whole thing out until he feels like he can safely get away.

Either way, if he gets creeped out by you, there’s almost no chance of ever recovering from that. In fact, he probably won’t even want to be your friend.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to be friends. It’s just that the entire situation has become extremely awkward for him.

Think about it. Until the point where you start confessing your feelings to him, he probably doesn’t feel pressure to act or behave in any way other than normal.

All of a sudden, you tell him that you like him and if he’s not attracted to you, he doesn’t really know what to do about it.

He doesn’t want to hurt you… but he also doesn’t want to get closer if he doesn’t really feel it.

He feels very uncomfortable about the entire situation and now he just wants to get out of it… so he pulls away and disappears on you.

And no amount of convincing, doing nice things for him, or telling him how much you like him will ever change that.

In fact, all it does is it make it so that he almost certainly will never like you in that way.

Friendships are much different than romantic relationships. In a friendship, the way that you get each other to be better friends is to do nice things for each other.

In a relationship, the way to get someone to “feel it” for you is to create and deepen the emotional attraction.

So you may be thinking…

How Do I Make Him Fall in Love With Me?

First off, don’t do what you would do for a normal friend to get them to like you… don’t buy him things, tell him how much you like him, or write him a letter professing your love.

There are certain ways and times when you can do this. But I’ll tell you more about that another time. Until then, just remember not to do these things until he’s already in a relationship with you.

Next, you need to make him feel attracted to you in a romantic way.

To do this, all you have to do is flirt with him and tease him in a way that intrigues him and makes him think that you’re a valuable “catch” that he wants to learn more about.

And once he’s attracted to you, he’ll send you signals that show he’s interested in a romantic way… so you can leave out most of the guess work.

You need to know how to create and detect these signals. It’s actually much easier than you probably think.

But if you get insecure about the whole thing and start asking him if he likes you and whether he’d date someone like you and where he thinks this is going, you’re just going to ruin the entire thing.

You need to make him feel romantically attracted to you from the very beginning.

You need to understand how his mind works so that you know how to interact with him in a way that draws him in closer instead of pushing him away.

You need to pull out the part of yourself that is naturally attractive to the type of men that you want and express that part of you in a way that will make him desire to be with you in a committed relationship.

He needs to get to know the REAL you, the authentic you. How men fall in love is through connecting with the authentic goddess within you…

None of this has to happen by chance or luck. These are all skills that you can learn and development.

After coaching thousands of men and women in their dating and love lives, I’ve discovered there are only 5 things that get in the way of most women from attracting a quality man into a committed relationship.

If you’d like to know which one is stopping you, click here to take the quiz. It’s free and I’ll show you exactly what’s stopping you from meeting Mr. Right and what you need to do in order to overcome it.

Click here to take the quiz and discover what’s stopping you from meeting Mr. Right

 

Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional. Good luck!

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What's stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.