Is your marriage under attack?
Not too long ago, I was driving through downtown Chicago on the interstate when I saw the sign that said…
“Life is short. Have an affair.”
These bold words were accompanied by a very suggestive image involving two good looking people.
Ugh, I remember feeling a shockwave go through my nervous system at the sight. It was almost like an assault on everything that’s good, right, and noble in this world.
Who were the advertisers? None other than an attorney firm specializing in divorce! Disgusting!
Here’s the truth… your marriage is under constant attack by outside forces that you have no control over.
I recently read an article about two couples that spent a lot of time together. It wasn’t long after the first couple stumbled that one of the partners from the second couple began “exploring their options” outside their committed relationship.
Here’s my point: your marriage is under assault.
There are many ways society pushes us toward selfish thinking. The influence is often subtle. After all, what’s wrong with Burger King’s motto, “Have it your way,” or the Haagen-Dazs slogan, “Pleasure is the path to joy?”
At first glance, there’s nothing wrong with this. The problem comes in when we start ignoring our partner’s needs just so we can have what we want.
If you’ve been married for any amount of time, you know what happens when you put your needs ahead of your partner’s. Marriage sucks.
It becomes nothing but a trap, or a prison sentence. Both people are in it for themselves, but stuck making decisions jointly. Of course, there’s a better way. And you know what it is…
The romantic term for it is “true love.” I think of true love as a choice. It happens when two people simultaneously love somebody else as much, if not more than they love themselves. They put the other person’s needs and happiness at the highest priority. They take full responsibility for the relationship and it’s success.
The result: marriage becomes the best thing ever!
Nothing compares. It’s better than a warm chocolate brownie smothered in vanilla ice cream, served on a tropical beach in Hawaii while you wait for your massage!
Loving someone else feels good! Having someone love you back… amazing!
Combine the two and anything you do to achieve it will be worth it.
Of course, you know there’s a problem with this…
Despite your best intentions, you end up not doing or saying what makes the other person feel loved completely and totally. You recoil in shock when your effort to be “normal” is met with an angry misinterpretation of your actions, attitudes, or words. Then all hell breaks loose. A rolling snowball effect is unleashed on your marriage as frustrations crumble all your good intentions into selfish retreat.
After over a decade of working with both men and women creating, growing, and fixing their relationships, I’ve found that, for women, there’s one thing that you can do that’s more powerful than anything else to get and keep the love and attention of your man.
It’s called “The Respect Principle.” And my friend, James Bauer, the guy I learned this from, recorded a short video to explain the concept in detail. Check out the video below…
It’s based on the concept that men and women intend to love each other and create romantic bliss, but they sometimes don’t really understand what their partner is experiences. For women, the biggest blind spot almost always has to do with the weird ways men obsess about the issue of admiration and respect.
Don’t get me wrong. Respect isn’t everything. But it’s one issue that gives back power to women who truly desire to make their husbands feel loved.
It may sound strange but researchers have discovered that the vast majority of men can’t distinguish between the ideas of being loved and being respected.
Sound surprising? Learn how to transform the way he experiences you in my short video on this valuable gem of information here.