How to Talk to a Guy You Like

Conversation is awkward! I mean, all human communication is confusing. Halfway across the world, there are people who can’t understand a single word you say because of a language barrier. Some people won’t be able to understand you, even if you speak the same language, because of a difference in accents.

Then of course, there’s the third problem—we know the words, but we don’t know what words trigger romantic feelings. Maybe you think you have this problem. You either come across as platonic, nervous or just socially awkward.

And how do guys react to that? They nod and say something like “Huh…okay.” Definitely not the signal you were hoping for!

But not to worry. Communicating romantic interest with a guy you like is not as difficult as it might seem. You know the words. You know the attitude. You may simply be over-thinking the process.

Let’s review a few pointers in how to talk to a guy and communicate sexual tension without seeming nervous or awkward about it.

1. SLOW down and go for tension, not just noise.

What sometimes happens is that you get so nervous about the “flirty conversation” that you forget to enjoy the experience. The next time you talk to him, DO NOT rush into a conversation. Resist the urge. Make eye contact for a few seconds, without words. Next, slow down the pace of your conversation. It’s better to wait and have a smart answer than a rushed one.

2. When in doubt, just comment on the most OBVIOUS thing.

People really do try too hard when they start “sexy” conversations. You don’t have to be too brainy. You don’t have to be overly sexual or quirky. All you have to do is start a conversation. The easiest way to start a conversation is to comment on the obvious: the weather, his pet (if you happen to see him with a pet), long lines you’re both waiting in, or what book he’s reading. Starting the conversation with the right attitude is more important than coming up with a great one liner.

3. Be a little more assertive with a very subtle compliment.

At some point, you may want to send a stronger signal and the best way to do that is to send a non-threatening compliment. For example, compliment his outfit, or a singular piece of clothing, or his visible tattoo. If you really want to send a strong signal (without being too over the top) tell him he reminds you of a (handsome) celebrity. At this point, the guy will definitely sense you want to start a conversation and he will meet you halfway.

4. When you talk, your goal is to get him to open up.

Maintaining a good conversation with a guy you like requires showing him that you’re interested in learning who he is. A man who obviously likes you will be talking about himself by now, or inquiring about you. To keep the conversation going, it’s important to follow the flow of conversation—by asking questions and getting him to talk more.

Resist the urge to impress him or tell him “Very Important Things” that he might misconstrue. Your main objective is to get HIM TO TALK. So if he starts talking about himself, your goal has already been achieved. Your statements and questions have one objective: get him to open up and see you as a friend—someone he trusts.

5. Beware of “too much information.”

As you become more excited and he becomes more animated, continue to control your emotions—this impresses him the most. This also means you avoid giving him TOO MANY compliments. It also means you resist the urge to say anything negative or to complain about something. Being in this controlled state of mind will also help you avoid boring him or annoying him by revealing too much personal information too soon. Men like a challenge and want to learn this information over time. For now, they WANT mystery.

6. Respond to his “tests” with the same energy and attitude.

Now here’s the tricky part…when a man really likes you, he likes to test you. He may make a sarcastic comment or mock you in a “friendly” sort of way. It doesn’t mean he’s angry at you or is disrespecting you. It means he’s testing you…he wants to see if you have a sense of humor and can withstand a little gentle ribbing…and give it right back to him. If you’re responding to his sarcasm test then smile, laugh, and mock him back—without getting upset.

7. If you’re especially nervous rehearse a conversation and research a common interest you may have.

The more you wait to talk to a guy, the more nervous you’ll feel. Maybe that part can’t be avoided and in that case, it might be a good idea to memorize “notes” of what you plan to talk about. For example, if you know that you have things in common with your crush, make plans to discuss these common interests. Imagine how the conversation might go in your head. This way, you’ll have direction in the conversation and won’t fear that “awkward pause”.

If you’ve never spoken to any extremely handsome man at length, and are afraid of looking silly, then practicing your conversation in front of a mirror can help. It can also help if you try to talk to other men besides your crush, in your daily routine. Practice making eye contact and communicating in a confident manner. Since these other guys are not on your “dating radar”, you can practice talking at length but not feel the grip of dating anxiety.

The key is communicating with a guy you like is to show him, not that you’re incredible, but that you’re confident, strong and interesting. Men want attitude first, and then information later, gradually, as it feels natural to reveal it. Master the introduction and you will soon have him eating out of your hand!

10 Man-Melting Phrases That Make Him Yours

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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