how-to-talk-dirty-to-a-man

How to Talk Dirty to a Man (6 Steps to Become Irresistible to Him)

Looking to infuse something fresh into your erotic repertoire or change things up in the bedroom? Verbal Sex, AKA talking dirty might be just the spice. Some well-placed hot words can heat things up in the bedroom, help your man feel great about himself and enhance your erotic life together.

Do you feel a little nervous about what to say or how to say it? Let me help.

1. Do a little research

If you’re unsure what bedroom talk your man might love, ask him about it before you’re in the bedroom:

“Do you like me to talk to you during sex sometimes, babe?”

“Any particular things really turn you on?”

He may let you in on some stuff you didn’t know about his erotic world and the conversation itself will create some fun anticipation.

2. Be you, be real

Helping your partner to feel special, attractive and desirable is a generous, caring gift and it’s an essential part of nurturing your long-term relationship. Speak your mind; share your desires; share your enjoyment of him in an intense moment:

“I want you more than anything now”

“I want to feel you inside me”

“All day I’ve been waiting for this/waiting to feel you…”

3. Take him a little off guard

Talking dirty works best when it unsettles him in a good way – so don’t be predictable with it.

Let things be quiet for a while and then as it starts to heat up, come in with a few well-chosen words softly delivered by his ear and send a shiver of erotic excitement through him.

4. Speak in images more than words

To have a scintillating effect your verbal sex can evoke vivid imagery. Your word pictures can be pure fantasy; memories of other great sex together; or zero in on his particular desires. Keep it simple for maximum impact:

“I’m imagining you’re kissing my…”

“Remember when I…”

“Imagine I’m kissing/touching your…while you…”

5. Ask, listen and learn

You’ll quickly see and feel which ideas turn your man on most and which don’t work such magic. If something doesn’t seem to push him over an erotic edge, don’t stress, move on or ask for feedback.

“How does this feel?”

“Do you want more of that?”

“Do you like x? Do you want it now?”

“Do you want me to do x for you?”

“Do you like me to do that faster, softer/harder?”

6. Use Encouragement, compliments or give direction

Most men love some guidance about what their woman wants during sex, because it teaches them about you and takes the pressure off them feeling they have to make it all happen for you.

It’s also sexy to hear what you like, sensuously described in the moment.

“That’s fantastic, like this, here…”

“I love it when you…”

“If you keep doing that I’m going to…”

Compliments are icing on the cake of love as long as they’re heartfelt and genuine.

“I love how your shoulders look”

“You feel amazing in me”

“I love it that you know just how to…”

“You’re so great at that…”

The goal of talking dirty is to enhance the pleasure for both of you, so relax, be real, and leave it for another time if it feels contrived or you’re self-conscious in the moment. Moans of appreciation can be good to hear, but screaming isn’t so great. And remember, you don’t have to use any words you wouldn’t normally use to infuse a shot of passion and excitement during sex.

Sex is essentially creative and talking dirty is really just adding your voice to the delicious mix of erotic self-expression your bodies and minds can play with and enjoy.

Just BE the love that you ARE. x

About The Author

Dr Debra Campbell-Tunks

Psychologist and couple therapist Dr Debra Campbell-Tunks has helped people for over a decade with everything from panic to depression, relationships and parenting problems.
Prior to psychology Debra taught yoga and meditation, so mindfulness remains a cornerstone of her work in mental health and couple relationships. Her research has been published in psychological journals in Australia and the USA. Debra and her free eBook for creating better relationships Hot Devotion can be found online at http://www.drdebracampbell.com/

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