Ending a used-to-be-happy relationship is devastating. Many lives have been destroyed because of failed relationship. Divorce or breaking up is more than losing a job. The process is painful. It drains you emotionally, mentally and physically.
Like many people, you have to get going. It is confusing, overwhelming and scary. There are many questions you would like to answer but at this point of life, it is difficult to focus.
What can you do to help you move on after divorce?
Acknowledge the loss of your relationship
Take some time off to feel the pain and cry. It is alright to crawl in your bed or hide in the bathroom and let your heart grieve. Let go of the anxieties and fear.
You will go through different stages. The pain will not go overnight.
First, you will deny to yourself the relationship is already over. You might think there is a possibility you will get back together again.
Second, you will get angry to yourself or to people who are involved. Like, friends or families. It is alright to get mad. Write it down. Shout it out. Get it out of your system.
Third, you will feel depressed. You now start thinking your marriage is really over. You will find yourself feel demotivated yet you know that you keep moving forward.
Lastly, you will start accepting the broken relationship. There are nights you will find yourself crying or feels alone and lonely. People go through this same process. Accepting is when you look at yourself in front of the mirror and tells yourself it is time to move on.
Know your worth
There is no other person in this whole wide universe who knows you best but yourself. Find a reason to appreciate your existence. There are many activities you can do to know your worth.
Join a sports club or start a hobby. It is a good way to channel your energy and teach yourself how to focus. Not only you will get fit but also, you will start acknowledging the things that you are good at.
Volunteer in some organizations. Helping in any way you can make you feel good about yourself. Instead of thinking about the past, why don’t you spend a couple of your time during the weekend in dog shelter for example? Or, volunteer to help the homeless. It will keep you busy and at the same, you are having fun.
Take a vacation. Go somewhere you always wanted to go. Book a ticket or sign up for a cruise. Feel good about yourself and just be happy. It is time to celebrate life and you deserve it.
Thank yourself every day
It is normal when people just got out of a bad relationship; they look miserable and think it is the end of the world. Make a list of things that you are thankful about yourself. You might have lost your relationship but there are still millions of reasons of being so blessed.
The list can be as simple as waking up early and went jogging. Or, you did the laundry today after weeks of not doing it. Be thankful for a friend who agreed to have coffee with you on Saturday.
Being thankful will help take away the negativities in your mind. Start feeling awesome again.
Consider dating again
The six months rule works to many people. It means, after the divorce or break up, give yourself at least six months to grieve and find yourself again. Though there is no exact number of days to say that you have finally moved on. When you feel you are ready, go out, meet some other people and start dating again.
Don’t be skeptical or scared about dating again. You might want to try signing up on a dating site or agree when your friends try to set up a blind date for you. Getting out of your comfort zone would help you to rediscover yourself. Enjoy the time with your date over dinner or a long walk at the beach.
Don’t think of jumping into a long or permanent relationship – not just yet. Get to know each other. Just take it slow. If this person is the right person, he or she will stay no matter what the weather is.
Embrace your new self
When you are in a relationship for a long time, you become dependent on each other. You are good at keeping the house clean while your partner was good at the financial aspect. Now, you have to handle everything.
Take a deep breath and tell yourself you can do this. You have amazing family and friends who are always willing to help you figure things out. Constantly remind yourself that you are not alone and you have an amazing support system.
In every life’s experience, there is always a lesson to learn. Make sure you learned something from your past relationship and try not to make the same mistake again. However, do not limit yourself or don’t use those mistakes to stop you from nurturing your next relationship.
The most important thing is that you have just won the greatest battle in your life. It makes you a better and stronger person. Now, you are confident that no matter what life brings you, you can handle it all by yourself.