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How to Make Him See You as Relationship Material.

How to Make Him See You as Relationship Material

Have you ever heard the age-old advice that if you want a man to stay interested in you, you have to avoid sleeping with him?

That’s not bad advice, but is that really all it is? Is waiting until marriage (or at least some kind of exclusivity) really the golden ticket to a happy and healthy relationship?

No! The problem is WAITING is not accomplishing anything on its own.

What actually works is changing the way he sees you and making sure he associates you with serious relationship material.

Waiting may be part of that, but it’s definitely not the master key to a relationship. In this article, I’m going to talk about the complete formula to making a guy see you as relationship material and NOT just a booty call, friends with benefits, fling, one-night stand, mistake, or anything else he might call it.

We’re going to discuss this issue according to four steps, or four goals, that you should be focusing on besides just the long wait.

 

Show Him Your Inner Strength

Showing him your strength of character is the first step to attracting him beyond just physical chemistry. We all might know that a woman who becomes clingy, or aggressive, or who loses control of her emotions, will probably push a man away.

But why does that happen? Because she’s showing weakness when she loves him too much. She’s not demonstrating strength, patience, or maturity. She’s showing him something very different from what she’s telling him.

She may SAY that she’s independent, in control, and successful. But what is she showing him?

The exact opposite. And while that behavior may work for a certain type of man (someone who wants someone emotionally needy) that’s not the kind of man you want to attract in the first place.

The first step in becoming serious relationship material is passing his “qualifying test” for dependent or emotionally unstable partners.

So ask yourself, as you “wait”, are you demonstrating strength? Do you constantly need him, or need his reassurance? Or do you get along just fine without him? Are you strong enough in character that you can safely say a man does NOT give you meaning in life?

A man may be a complement, but serving him should not be a need.

Your independence FROM HIM is one of the best ways to attract a man. Not that you have to be cold or mean…You simply like him, but you don’t need him. You see the difference?

 

Show Him That You Have High-Value

It’s easy for anyone to become distracted by strong sexual chemistry. When you both want each other, but the time isn’t right, nature sort of takes over. You ignore little flaws. You shrug off major lifestyle differences. You even put your own goals on hold, because sex – you know, is such a big deal!

But when sex does happen, a major shift in thinking takes place. Now the guy is wondering if she’s really relationship material or not. He’s starting to think about the flaws and lifestyle differences. Is she thinking the same thing?

Or is she falling in love too fast? Sex does tend to create intense feelings of short-term infatuation and it can be very misleading.

Instead, while you’re waiting and not sleeping with him, are you demonstrating “High Value” – that is, all the other great and wonderful things you are, BESIDES just looks?

That might not be what he notices in the early stages, but that IS what he hyper focuses on as the relationship deepens.

Ask yourself have I really shown him what my LIFE is like? My goals, my career, my personal ambitions, my unique personality and hobbies?

That’s where the the high-value factor starts. Showing him that you’re an amazing person already and you got here all by yourself.

Now the second part of showing high value is letting him know that just attraction alone isn’t ENOUGH to win over your love and devotion. Chemistry is nice and all…

But are you that easy? Would you trade everything that you are (everything you’ve worked for) just for one night with a successful guy? Of course not! You’re capable of enjoying the attraction, but not falling for him just based on his potential.

So the only way to win you over, as he learns during the waiting process, is the attention he gives you. The effort he puts forth, to charm YOU, and win your heart.

You being extremely selective about choosing a guy is the second half of the demonstrating high-value stage. The more you wait, the more you have to be “convinced”, the higher your value rises – and the more obsessed your potential boyfriend becomes!

 

Show Him You Are a Team Player

Once you show him that you’re valuable and strong in character, it’s time to soften up a little bit and show him that you are, actually, the ideal partner in a relationship. You don’t take him for granted. You don’t deserve all his love and attention for nothing.

Rather, you earn his trust and his love by being his devoted partner. You support him. You are genuinely impressed by him and his knowledge, passion, and heart.

You don’t pretend to like him. You trust him and admire his traits, so your support comes naturally.

Basically, he wants to be your superhero and that’s exactly the role you play. If he wants to be Superman, you become his Lois Lane. Or Batman to Catwoman, or Peter to Mary Jane – you get the idea.

Remember that his desire to be a hero and to feel appreciated is a major part of his ego. Give him the adulation that he wants. Give him the affection and the appreciation…

And do it in other ways, besides just sex. Sex is not showing appreciation. Sex is something a couple does because they have already bonded!

 

Show That You Understand His Life

Finally, take some time to show him that you not only understand his life – you understand what is expected of YOU, if you were to become part of his life. Take the time to learn all the details of his life, including commitments he has to family, career, and other endeavors.

What will this relationship require from you? If he needs stability in his life, how can you integrate your life and his so that he feels more comfortable with routines?

Sure, it’s great if you meet a guy who’s willing to drop everything on his schedule to be with you (and independently wealthy at that!) but it’s not entirely realistic, is it?

The better option is to learn about the complexities of his personal life now so that you can find ways to “fit in” with his lifestyle later on, as the relationship gets serious.

Because at some point you have to show him that being with you is going to ENHANCE his existing life, and not completely uproot him.

 

It’s Not About the Wait

In closing, remember that waiting for sex is a great idea. And generally speaking, yes, you don’t sleep with a man until he has already fallen for you.

But in the meantime ask yourself if you’ve done the homework, so to speak, and have shown him that you’re ready for a serious relationships based on these four steps.

 

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