If you’ve lost “the spark” in your relationship, it doesn’t matter whether it’s been 2 year or 20, here are some ideas about how to bring it back…
“Hi Felicity! I would love to hear what you have to say about this. My husband and I have been married for 26 years and have two children. We raised a 23 year old daughter, she is now gone from our home, and our son is 15.
We have a good marriage and a good sex life as well, but at times the spark goes up and down. After 26 years of marriage how do you with a good marriage keep the spark present sexually and moving forward in life? Thanks for your time!”
First off, I want to congratulate you on having such a long marriage! Twenty-six years together with someone is very impressive!
As you mentioned, it’s totally normal for your sex life to experience some ups and downs.
We all have fluctuations in our hormonal levels as well as other biological processes that impact how our libido works.
Also, over time, we typically develop routines that have us “going through the motions” sometimes when it comes to our partner’s preferences.
These routines tend to make sex with our partners somewhat predictable. And that predictability can dim the spark we have for each other.
The best thing that you can do is to break the predictability and switch things up. Adding in something different can charge up the amount of dopamine in both of your brains that’s released, giving you that extra “zing.”
When sex becomes a routine in our relationships, our brains stop releasing as much of the pleasure chemical. And this leaves us feeling less inspired by sex with our partners.
Breaking the Routine
The easiest and fastest way to fix this is by adding in something unexpected to the plotline of your sexual experience.
A simple way you can do this is to try a different room in your home or have it during a different time of the day than normal.
Do it in the kitchen. Surprise him in the shower one morning for a before-work quickie.
Just changing the room to somewhere other than your bedroom or doing it in the morning vs. doing it at night is an easy way to give you both a sexual charge.
If you want to have even more fun, try doing some role playing, get into a character, maybe even get a wig or costume for maximum effect.
The visual or energetic stimulation of role playing can give him the thrill of feeling like he’s making love to someone new, but it’s a safe way of just pretending.
Maybe you can arrange to meet up with your husband at a new restaurant or somewhere slightly out of town (you don’t want to run into your neighbors!). When you arrive, you can wear the wig and glasses on.
You can then proceed to seduce him over a meal and invite him over for a “nightcap.” You get the idea, you naughty vixen you!
Look, I get that some of this may sound silly. But all of these ideas are just simple ways to break out of the normal patterns and routines that you have.
Trust me on this one… you’ll be surprised at how much a little surprise and novelty can bring that spark back in full force!
If you want to hear more in-depth information about how brain chemistry works in our sex lives, check out my video here:
I have over thirty different techniques that are guaranteed to amp up the spice and spark in your sex life with your partner.
The women who do this stuff are giving it raving reviews (and I’m sure their men are too 😉 )
Check out the video below: