A few days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about how he picked his wife.
He told me that he had gone on a ton of dates at the time and even described this one woman he met who he said was probably better qualified on paper to be the type of woman that he should marry than his wife was.
The woman spoke 4 languages, came from a rich family, was well traveled, and was very beautiful.
The woman he ended up committing to and marrying was attractive as well but she didn’t have all of the things going for her that the other woman had.
He said what really did it for him was what his now wife said to him when they were dating.
I’m not going to get the wording right (he couldn’t really remember the exact words) so I don’t want to butcher what she said… but the gist was that she set a boundary with him, early on, about what she would want from him if they were going to date each other.
And he said that it was her setting that boundary with him that made him feel like she was special and the right woman to commit himself to.
Lesson to be learned: Set Boundaries.
That was 11 years ago and now they have two kids, are in love with each other, and are living a good life in near Orlando Florida.
If you’re dating a man and you want him to respect you, value you, and feel like you’re the type of woman he’d want a serious relationship with, you have to set boundaries.
How to Set a Boundary
There are four things you need to do when setting a boundary and here are what those are:
1. State Your Desire
When you’re setting your boundary, it’s important to let that person know that you’re still interested in them.
Otherwise, it could come across masculine and unattractive. Make sure to state your desire with him first.
2. Say What the Boundary Is
He needs to know exactly what the boundary is.
3. Give a Reason Why
Giving a reason why makes your request more credible. If you don’t give a reason, he may think you’re being dramatic or saying it for no reason at all.
Instead, you should give him a reason which will make it easier for him to agree to.
By the way, having rules and boundaries just because someone told you that you should is very unattractive and will cause a guy to rebel against your boundaries.
Having a good reason why will make it more likely that he’ll agree and stick to it.
4. Ask Him if He Agrees to It
You should get a verbal confirmation that he understands and agrees to your boundary so that he feels bound to it.
Here’s an example:
Let’s say that you need to get back early from a date that you’re about to go on. Here’s what you might say…
“I’d love to hang out all night but I need to get back before 10 so that I can get some sleep before tomorrow. Can you have me back here by 10?”
He’s either going to agree to the boundary or not. And you’re either going to stick to your boundary or not.
My suggestion is that, especially early on, you stick to your boundaries to set a precedent so that he knows you view yourself as a valuable woman.
Remember: A valuable woman is an attractive woman.
A woman who he can walk all over is not an attractive woman.
Boundaries make you seem more valuable to a man which makes him feel like you’re more attractive to him for a serious relationship.
The Fastest Way to Go From Meeting a Man to Marriage
Have you ever noticed that some women seem like they just easily and naturally have men pursuing them for marriage…
While others seem to get stuck in “friend with benefits” type situations or in relationships that seem to go nowhere?
The truth is that there’s one very specific difference between what these women are doing…
And I created a video that explains the entire thing…
If you want a man to pursue you for marriage, he needs to feel like you’re so special that he MUST take you off the dating market.
He has to feel like you’re someone that he can’t lose.
And there’s only one way to make him feel that way. If you want to know what it is, click the link below and watch the video there: