Most questions that I get from our community start like this:
“How do I get him to…”
“How do I make him…”
Then just fill in the blank with something like…
“Love me, call me, commit to me, be better to me, meet up with me, come back to me, ask me out, want me, cuddle with me, be honest with me, marry me…”
The list goes on and on.
First off, I want you to know that these questions… all of them… are completely legitimate.
Everyone has wanted someone else to do something at some point in their lives… if they don’t feel this way just about all the time, every day.
I know I certainly have.
But think about this…
Men do what they want to do. If you want him to do something… first, it should be something that he wants to do, at least some point in his life.
If he is vehemently against marriage… thinks its evil… and wants to wipe the idea of marriage from the face of the earth…
Why are you with him if you want to get married?
If he wanted to get you to accept a “friend with benefits” type of relationship with him even though he knows you don’t want one… how would you feel if he was reading books about how to convince you to be in one?
You’d probably lose a lot of trust with him and hopefully want to get out of the relationship.
Because it’s a relationship where you’ll need to constantly fight each other in order to get what you want.
This is why so many relationships fail. Most people only consider one factor as to whether or not they get into a relationship. And it’s this:
Do I feel chemistry?
If chemistry is the only determining factor as to why you get into a relationship, the likelihood that the relationship is going to work out is almost non-existent.
We’ll talk about exactly what factors are important when determining whether you’ll get into a relationship or not another time.
For now, think about this:
If you want him to do something that he currently isn’t doing… these are the factors that you need to consider:
1. Does he want what you want?
If he doesn’t EVER want something that you want from him… that’s a problem. You need to respect what he wants and make sure he wants the same or find someone who is in alignment with having the same things you want some day.
2. Have you already created an amazing single life?
Now, you may be thinking:
“What does this have to do with getting him to call me?”
It has EVERYTHING to do with getting him to call you, making him love you, getting him to commit to you, or just about any of the other things you want him to do.
Because he has to want to do those things for you in order for doing any of those things to be meaningful. And no man wants to rescue a woman from the miserable life that she has unless he’s pretty miserable himself.
A healthy man wants a woman who doesn’t need him. He wants a woman who is already healthy, happy, and who can contribute to his life as much as he contributes to hers.
If you’re already in a relationship, this doesn’t exclude you. You should still have aspects of your own life away from him.
This means becoming whole, complete, and happy. It means finding your own passions that you pursue. It means overcoming your insecurities and facing your biggest fears.
It means having boundaries and respecting yourself and the boundaries you’ve set for yourself. It means being so awesome that a guy would be crazy not to want you in his life.
If a guy feels this way about you, he’s much more likely to want to do whatever it is that you want to get him to do. Be the type of woman that he’s looking for.
3. Have you created, built, and maintained a level of sexual attraction and tension with him?
Yes, men like sex. They have a type and require physical and sexual attraction.
Did you know that you have a lot of control over creating this?
It’s true. Attraction and chemistry aren’t things that you have to leave up to chance. Sure, some of it is genetic but not all of it.
You can actually control the amount of sexual chemistry that a man has with you. You can create that feeling of wanting to rip off someone’s clothes and make wild passionate sex with them.
How do you do this?
Lots of different ways. You match the amount of masculine energy he has with your feminine energy.
You learn how to flirt, tease, and use your vocal tonality and body language to connect with his primal sexual drives.
If he feels a strong sexual chemistry for you, he’ll be much more aligned with doing whatever it is that you want him to do. Guaranteed.
4. Did you connect with him on a deep emotional level?
The reason why a lot of guys only want a surface level relationship with most women is because most women don’t connect with men on a deep emotional level.
This is the difference between a guy only wanting a “friend with benefits” relationship with you and him proposing and asking you for a marriage.
Most men never experience a connection like this. If you can go under the surface and show that you love, support, and encourage him in a way that he’s never felt before, he’ll want to take you off the dating market and commit himself to you for life…
Along with doing whatever other things that you want him to do. Men want to feel belonging and love as much as women do. It can just be a lot more challenging for them to experience a lot of those feelings than it is for women.
If you’re that woman for him, it’ll get his attention in a way that nothing else can.
5. Does he know what you want and did you ask for it?
It may not always be the case that you must or should even ask a guy to do something that you want him to do. However, most of the time, that’s the only way he’s going to know what you want.
The argument that a guy should just know what you want or be able to interpret your subtle hints is reserved for Disney cartoons and young women who don’t know any better.
If you’re over the age of 18, you need to learn how to ask for what you want. Guys don’t read minds… and that’s a good thing!
So you need to let them know what you want in a way that allows them to maintain their sense of masculine identity. That means avoiding demands, nagging, or emasculating him.
If you can do that, he’ll bend over backwards in order to make sure you’re taken care of.
If you expect a man to just know what it is that you want, you’ll end up very disappointed most of the time.
If you consider those 5 factors each time you think about getting a man to do something for you, you’ll have a much better chance of getting it.
I know some of them are big, long-term thinking ideas. And if a guy was asking me how to get a woman to do something, I’d have something very similar to tell him.
Because the general rule is that a man must WANT to do whatever it is that you’re attempting to get him to do.
If he doesn’t see you as a long-term dating potential, if he doesn’t feel like you’re an amazing gift to his life, and if he doesn’t have any idea what it is that you want, there’s little to no chance that he’s going to provide it for you.
This may not have been the answer you wanted to hear. But if you think about things this way the next time you want to get a man to do something, I think you’ll find that your results can become a lot more in alignment with what it is that you want.
What do you think of this blog post? Do you agree or disagree? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think! How do you get a guy to do something you want him to do?