Have you ever had a special guy in your life who just makes you think… “What the hell is wrong with you, dude?!”
Yeah I think you know what I mean. A guy who is so confusing and always sending mixed messages. He kind of drives you crazy! Maybe he says he wants to be just friends but then acts in a totally different way or makes all kinds of weird suggestions that don’t seem very platonic.
What is this guy after? Is he playing you, is he confused or is he secretly in love with you? And if that’s the case, why can’t he just come out and say it?
Let’s consider a few reasons WHY guys get stuck into this loop of confusion.
Here’s a hint right off the bat…it’s probably not because he’s shy. Instead, he’s unsure of what he wants from you.
1. He likes the attention you give him, but really doesn’t know what he can give you back.
This type of guy is very confident and loves the way you react to his charms. He may frequently pay attention to you, flatter you, and flirt with you. But then…he just wants to be friends. This may be after sex, or even before sex occurs. It’s plain to see that although he does “like you” he cannot give you a firm commitment, or even a basic idea of what he wants from you, besides the attention or sex you provide.
Some dating coaches might go so far as to tell you that there is no such thing as a mixed message. A guy who toys with your mind, is merely interested in toying with you. The End. That’s the relationship and the more you invest in him, the more often he will toy with your feelings.
Would I agree? Probably, though I don’t always believe that a man toys with a woman to be cruel. Sometimes he really is just messed up in the head, or he can’t decide what he wants. That sucks for him, but hey you know what? That’s NOT the relationship you want or need right now.
Just listen to your heart and figure the answer is usually YES. Is it strange that he says he really likes you…but then disappears? Yes, it is. Is it weird that he pulls you in but then pushes you away by acting out? Of course and the only way out of this bizarre relationship is YOU ending it. Because you deserve more than these mind games. You deserve a man who really wants you and isn’t afraid to show it.
2. He is very interested in…making you a friends with benefits.
Ah, so maybe he is clear about what he wants. That is, he wants to have sex with you, and he does sort of want the romantic aspect of it too…but he doesn’t want a commitment. Confusing? Sure it is.
And part of you may wonder, “Maybe if we give this experimentation a try, love will grow from it.” Nope, sorry. Many women believe this myth and it seldom, if ever, comes true. Men who get all the sex they want have nothing more to gain. They have already devalued you as a serious partner, and are now allergic to anything emotional.
They’ve categorized you as someone they like, a friend, a lover—but they’re still looking for someone who they can emotionally bond with.
There is only one solution. Stop being friends with benefits. Stop having sex. If he wants you again, he must pursue you romantically. If not, then that’s that. Nothing more can come from this affair. The friends-with-benefits arrangement is a go nowhere relationship, so it’s not surprising that he sends you nothing but mixed messages. If anything he’s trying to figure out how to get out of it, without hurting your feelings.
3. He really does like you and may be in love with you…but his heart is in conflict.
There is one possible way that this volatile friendship is the real deal—as in yes, he really DOES like you. He does have strong romantic feelings for you, but thinks that you’re incompatible in lifestyle or in thinking. It may be that he’s yearning for you and trying to “resist you” because he keeps thinking of the mismatch. Or the conflict could be coming from his family, or from another woman he’s dating.
In this case, (and I do believe this is the least likely of the three scenarios) there’s only one thing to do. Ask him what the conflict is and talk it out. Maybe he’s afraid to tell you what it is, or maybe it’s a problem that requires some compromise on both sides. You need to let him know that if it’s a real compatibility issue, you’re willing to discuss the problem. Let him know that he can always tell you anything and shouldn’t hold any secrets back. You’re willing to be his best friend, IF that’s what he wants.
However, if it’s just a matter of “keeping you as a fall back” (in case things don’t work out in his other romance) then you are NOT going to wait for him, and not going to keep listening to his mixed messages.
A man will not respect you if you “wait for him” and let him continually take you for granted in this way. You must show him, and more importantly show YOURSELF, that you are a strong and successful woman—that if a man wants you he must be willing to admit his feelings and give you his undivided attention. No doubts, no second guesses.
Maybe you moving on and dating someone else will make this confused guy realize that you were the best thing to happen to him…and he was dumb enough let you get away! Sometimes a man will only see you as a “high value”, super confident woman IF you have the self-respect to walk away. And believe me, that’s what he’s attracted to.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
Click this link to watch my video right now <<
The article was very interesting