First, before we start, tell me which guys in the relationships below are cheating:
- Hannah and Andre have been dating for 2 years. They’ve talked about getting married. She even thinks he’s been pricing some rings…
- Elisa and Malik are like the “old couple” among their friends – they’ve been together now for 5 years, and even though they haven’t ever discussed marriage, she isn’t seeing other guys. She refers to him as “my partner” and they have a vibrant sex life.
- Jasmin and Darren started seeing each other about 4 months ago, and are ecstatically in love. They talk on the phone multiple times every single day. And they go out on a date, at least a few times a week. Last week he moved in with her.
All three of the guys are seeing other women.
Does this surprise you? Does it make you angry?
Before you start throwing things and cursing men (and for the record, I just made those three couples up) you should know this:
The reason I asked is because this is an issue that crops up ALL THE TIME for women in our community… And there’s a huge issue underneath the word “cheating”…
And THAT is what we really need to discuss…
Here’s How Most Women Would Define Cheating
Most women would tell you that if two people are “together” and one of them “sees” other people, that’s cheating. I’ve even had women tell me that if they’ve gone on one date with a man and he goes on a date with another woman, that’s cheating.
I’m not convinced there are too many men in the world who would agree with that definition, though.
And here’s why THAT is bad news for all the women in the world…
When a woman has that definition of cheating, she often completely gives over her life to a man who isn’t doing the same.
In other words, he’s “won” her and may now either a) lose interest, or b) enjoy and keep all the “benefits” of a relationship with her but never make a commitment, even though she’s made a commitment to him.
I’ve sadly watched women throw away years of their life this way, committing themselves to a man who hasn’t really made up his mind about her yet.
And if you want to get married, you CANNOT fall into this trap.
Then How SHOULD You Define Cheating?
In my world, “cheating” is a word reserved only for two situations.
First, where two people have made a clear and explicit agreement to date only each other and one of them breaks that agreement.
And second, in a marriage when one person “dates” (meaning sees because they’re sexually or deeply emotionally interested in) another.
Here’s What You Should Do Instead…
You should (both) date other people until you are (both) ready to commit.
There’s a big difference between dating and exclusivity. If you’re a woman who is seeking a committed, exclusive relationship or marriage, one of the best things you could do to secure a commitment is to NOT be so easily won!
Now, I’m not telling you to “play hard to get” – I’m saying that you should look for the man who is going to commit, and don’t stop looking until you find him!
This will keep you from losing years of your life with a man who isn’t going to commit. It’ll also make you extremely desirable among the men you meet!
How to Get Him to Commit to You
First, you need to clearly communicate exactly how long you’re willing to date without a commitment.
(If you want to how to communicate this effectively, I suggest you pick up a copy of “Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever”)
Then, you need keep dating other guys until the two of you explicitly agree to be exclusive.
I know it may be hard enjoying other guys when all you want is to fall happily into the arms of this one particular man… but until you two agree that you are each other’s “one and only,” that’s the best path towards having the relationship you want.
How to Make Him Beg You to Be His One and Only
If you’re sick of “Bad Boys,” “Players,” and guys who just won’t commit, you need to go watch this new video renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore put up.
It’s called “3 Steps To Make A Man Love You” and it teaches you how to make a man not just “fall” for a you…
But to actually make him obsessed with you so HE decides he WANTS to be serious…
Michael lays out the absolute truth about what men really want and need from a woman for them to be able to give EVERYTHING to her…
(In fact, he flat out tells you how his girlfriend captured his heart and made him fall for her HARD even though he was “playing the field” and thought he’d never settle down.)
P.S. The internet has made dating feel hyper-competitive, because it lets guys find even more beautiful, eager single (or not single, ugh) women who are willing to do a lot for a little bit of romantic masculine attention.
Put these 3 tools to work for you and put an end to all that craziness. Isn’t it time you had a man working to win YOUR romantic attention for
a change? 🙂