There’s an emotion that can kill the passionate feelings that a man has for you…
Let me ask you a question…
Can your man turn you on even when he’s been acting like a jerk all day or when he hurts your feelings, making you feel small and worthless?
Probably not… Unless his behavior changes radically. And even then the chances are pretty small.
Most people realize, these days, that a woman’s brain is the most important part of her body when it comes to turning on the passion in a relationship.
But here’s the thing… it’s much less commonly known that the same thing is true about a man.
Yeah, it’s true… men can be interested in sex even when there is emotional tension in the relationship.
What I’m talking about is the aspects of the relationship that men have to work harder at. I’m talking about the non-sex parts that make up 95% of the joy and meaning both partners feel in a truly committed relationship.
Most people don’t realize how much a man’s emotions deeply impact his ability to be present in a relationship.
If you want him to be deeply engaged, you’ve got to pay attention to his mind and emotions.
But which emotions matter most to a man? It’s not the same that matters the most to a woman.
I’ll tell you the answer. Before I do, I need to prepare you. It’s not what you would expect, and you might doubt the importance of it when I tell you.
Remember that men experience relationships differently. As a result, the issue that matters most to men may seem petty or small to you.
In a relationship, the most important thing that will affect a man’s ability to be present and engaged is the level of respect he feels from the people around him.
He needs this in order to experience emotional openness, the willingness to work through problems, have a true investment in the relationship, and have the desire to make you happy above all else.
When I was in my early twenties, there were two women who both expressed an interest in me. Both of them were very attractive.
The difference between the way really the way they treated me. While they both attempted to use complements to spark conversations and show their interest, they did so in very different ways.
The first woman (we’ll call her Stephanie) was sitting at a table with me and eight other acquaintances when she first approached me. This may seem a bit ridiculous, but remember we were in our early 20s and still basically just kids.
She was giggling a lot (she almost always did) and talking in hushed tones for a few seconds with her close girlfriend sitting beside her before she turned to me and said, “I bet you would look really good with your shirt off.” She had a silly grin on her face and no shame for her boldness.
The other woman (we’ll call her Nicole) approached me one day as we both exited a building and headed down a sidewalk after a friend’s party. She walked beside me for a moment, making small talk before changing her tone of voice to something a little more serious. She said, “I was really impressed with what you said to Bill and Sarah last week.” She turned her head and looked me in the eye at this point, and continued, “Your wisdom’s going to take you a long way in this world, you know.”
Can you guess which one of these women got my attention? Was it Stephanie or Nicole?
The truth is, they both got my attention. But only one caused me to feel deeply respected. But when I experienced true respect from Nicole, I could suddenly see visions of myself in a long-term relationship with her.
Experiencing the weight of her respect caused me to want to welcome her into my life and promise my heart to her. I suddenly felt a deep trust for her and the desire to never lose the deep respect she seemed to hold for me.
Sarah got my attention too, but I felt like she saw me as some kind of plaything. I believe she had a genuine desire to give me a compliment, but I didn’t feel any respect. I felt she was not respecting “me,” the deeper me, the real me.
True respect is demonstrated, not just spoken with words. This is a concept that is difficult to explain without a lot of examples and more in-depth explanation.
Truth be told, I first realized this when a friend of mine and dating coach, James Bauer, told me about something he calls “The Respect Principle.”
He put a video together that describes what it is and how to use it here:
As a professional dating coach, there are few things I have to offer women that have a deeper or more powerful effect in their relationships with men. Respect matters to men in ways women just can’t see (without a little training in male psychology).
If you’d like to learn how to implement this concept in your own relationships, follow the link below to a presentation James put together on The Respect Principle.
P.S. It’s fascinating how powerfully the “the Respect Principle” affects every aspect of your relationships, and once you understand it, painful experiences like this and many others will forever be a thing of the past.
Watch this video now to discover the truth about what it takes to attract and commit an amazing man into your life: