The two most common frustrations I get from women are these:
“Men are liars!”
“Men are cheaters!”
Sometimes, I get both…
“Men are liars and cheaters!”
Is this true?
Wood is hard. Water is wet. Men are liars and cheaters?
Well, maybe… But maybe not…
When I was growing up, I decided that I was going to marry my high school sweetheart. I bought her a promise ring, told her I loved her, and had plans of how we were going to get married and live happily ever after.
Things didn’t quite go as planned… it turns out she was cheating on me with a close friend of mine.
That incident completely smashed my heart. Yet she wasn’t the only woman cheater around town…
My brother’s girlfriend cheated on him WHILE she was pregnant with his child!
That’s weird for a number of reasons I won’t get into right now.
And my brother’s first wife (a different woman) and mother of his second child cheated on him as well… more than one time.
I could go on but I think you can get the point.
All the evidence when I was growing up pointed to me that women are cheaters and liars. I thought women ONLY want to hurt men.
Is it possible that both men AND women are cheaters and liars?
That would be a very sad perspective on humanity if you believed that. Here’s the truth…
There are lots of men who cheat and lie… in some cases they don’t mean to but we’ll talk about why that is another time.
You need to ask yourself this very important question:
What if every man you met ASSUMED that YOU are a cheater and a liar BEFORE he even met you, JUST because you’re a woman?
How would that make you feel?
I can tell you this much… it would probably be pretty difficult for him to win you over and get you to like him if he treated you like you’re just going to cheat on him and lie to him.
So how do you think it would be any different for a guy?
Quick answer: It isn’t any different.
If you have the belief that all men are liars and cheaters, no man is going to want to be in a relationship with you.
And not only that, you’re only going to find evidence for that point of view. In essence, you’re going to create the experience for yourself that lives up to the stereotype you’re projecting out into the world.
Maybe you’ve been cheated on and lied to by men in the past. I get it. I really do. In fact, it might happen again.
But your experiences don’t dictate that ALL men are liars and cheaters any more than my experiences dictate that all WOMEN are liars and cheaters.
Nobody would get into relationships with each other if we thought either of those statements were true.
Instead, look at each man as an individual. The last guy you dated isn’t the same person as the next guy you date.
No relationship is the same and no guy is the same. You’d want a guy to look at you as an individual and not just categorize you with all women, wouldn’t you?
It’s the same with men. It might be true that you’re attracted to and keep attracting the same type of man into your life… in that case, you need to start meeting different types of men and break those old patterns.
We’ll discuss more on the topic on breaking those patterns and how to bring a different class of man into your life another time.
For now, just treat each guy you meet as a unique individual. And get rid of your stereotypes that will only serve to push the quality men, the great guys you want in your life, away.
Because there is little that is less attractive than someone who already thinks that you’re a horrible person and is looking for any shred of evidence that shows that you are.
If you’re going into a date with this type of mindset, things aren’t going to go well for either of you. You’re likely going to turn something that’s harmless into evidence to support your view point and you’re never going to find the love you want with this attitude.
If you come to a healthy man with the attitude that you know he’s going to hurt you, he’ll run. Come to a healthy man confident and secure in your own value and he’ll want to win you over.
What do you think about this blog post? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think… are all men liars and cheaters?