4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close

4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close

So you’re a strong, independent and intelligent woman. Go you!

You meet a great guy and surprise, surprise—he has a job. He’s normal and has practically no psychosis or dark hidden secrets to confess. No catch…just a great guy and you’re glad you got his number before a Kardashian ruined him.

But wait! What’s happening? Why is Mr. Right suddenly becoming distant? You might be shocked to discover that your dream guy is suddenly distancing himself from you. Maybe he’s becoming irritable, short-tempered…

Or maybe you’ve even had “the talk” about why you two should go on a break or even break up.

Don’t panic. There’s probably a reason your man is backing away and it’s not too late to make things right.

Malfunctioning Men Maintenance

Let’s first discuss some reasons why men withdraw or in some cases leave…just after being intimate or maybe even months after the relationship’s been going swell. Then, we’re going to consider some ways to troubleshoot your malfunctioning man.

1. He’s feeling smothered by Overly Attached Girlfriend.

You remember the Overly Attached Girlfriend, right? Just think of the infamous meme as a frightening entity that can possess any otherwise cool and attractive woman at any given time. Rather than laugh at her, ask yourself if you’re resembling her behavior lately. For instance, you might ask:

· Am I becoming too possessive? Do I have to know where he is at all times?
· Am I pressuring him to marry, move in. or become exclusive before he feels comfortable with it?
· Am I threatening his freedom either aggressively (letting him know what he can’t do anymore) or subtly (making plans for him without permission)

Troubleshooting Tip: Let him feel back in control of things. If you want to make plans ask him for his input on what to do. Give him space to be alone in his mancave and go out wherever he wants, without you in the passenger’s seat. If you trust each other, and if he really is the decent, honest man you believe he is, there is no reason to assume he’s out cheating. Suspicion is the not the mark of a good relationship, by any mrans.

If you’ve been dominating his schedule and all of his conversation lately, give him space and “air time” to exert his power and freedom of expression. This will make him feel in control again, and not coincidentally, more attracted to you.

2. He’s already had his cake and er…eaten it too.

There’s a very good reason why shrewd women make men wait for sex…even really hot guys that they desire. This is because the longer you make him wait for sex, the longer period of time you give him to actually care about you and fall in love.

Too many women make the mistake of giving horny men exactly what they’re looking for: No strings attached sex as soon as possible. Then they hope, optimistically (very optimistically) that after the deed is done, the man will start to feel romantic towards them and they fall in love just like in fairy tale books.

Wrong! If a man is on the prowl for easy sex, he won’t be thinking clearly about what he wants and if he’s really compatible with you or not. He’ll want to get laid first and then ponder those tough existential questions later. Men enjoy the thrill of the “hunt” and will tell you what you want to hear in chameleon-like fashion if they feel this is a game you’re playing and you’re daring him to win.

If you sleep with him too soon, he may be second-guessing whether he really wants to commit to this relationship or if he wants to date other people or pursue his dream of rock climbing, or becoming a matador, or whatever it is he thinks is cool.

Troubleshooting Tip: Back off and give him the freedom he thinks he wants. Keep the conversation honest. Ask him if he wants to go on a break and for the both of you to see other people. It’s important to let him know that you will not be his “back burner girlfriend”—that you will move on with your life if he doesn’t see the value in you now. If he wants to go on a break, you are not going to cry over him and beg him to come back.

You are stronger than that. And he will respect your strength of character for refusing to beg for his attention.

If he has does have strong but confused feelings for you, he will not let you walk away if you suggest a break. Now is the chance for both of you to converse openly and honestly. Siscuss what’s missing in the relationship and hold nothing back. Talk out your fears, needs and disagreements and start communicating again.

3. You’re not a girlfriend…you’re a chatbot.

It’s sad but true…too many nice girls are virtual chatbots for their boyfriends, always there, always available and always just a phone call or instant message away. Sometimes it may seem to him as if you wait 24-7 by the phone, always ready to give him the love he needs. That’s great for guys who love constant fawning attention from their partner. But for many modern men, it may make for a disappointing end to what they thought was an exciting relationship.

Many men enjoy the challenge of making their girlfriend happy. They enjoy debating, enjoy flirting and enjoy the mystery and unpredictability of the relationship. Then something changes…the woman lets her guard down and starts mothering the guy, making sure he’s happy and catering to his every whim.

She’s not really “smothering”…she’s “mothering”. Kind of a subtle difference there.

For some guys, it’s a huge turn off when a woman starts “taking care of him” rather than entertaining him. Now he’s longing to meet that mysterious sexy stranger he remembers from when you first met.

Troubleshooting Tip: Here’s where most people would tell you to play mind games with your boyfriend until he starts to appreciate you. But that’s too easy and frankly too juvenile.

The answer lies in challenging yourself. Instead of pretending to be unavailable, simply be less available by reaching out to the world.

Get involved in a hobby or a social cause true to your heart. Go more places with friends, family members and new acquaintances. Learn more, explore more and when in doubt, say yes to a new idea.

Not only will this help you become a busy and more confident woman, it will also remind him that you are no keychain girlfriend. You have your own life and your own full calendar of important things to do. The thrill of the chase will be back on, and now maybe you can squeeze time with him on Saturdays, before hitting the gym, and after going out with your BFF to see the Beauty & the Beast reboot. See? It’s all about effective time management!

4. He’s literally afraid at how much he loves you.

It sounds a little corny, but yes, sometimes men do develop strong feelings for a woman and they immediately start to fear their own vulnerability. They really like you…and who knows? Maybe they once promised themselves they would never love again. Now their intense feelings for you are scaring them into a defensive, crouching position, at least when it comes to the heart.

This fear of intimacy is sort of a good thing, since it means he is slowly coming to terms with the role you’re going to play in his life. However, in the beginning, it can manifest itself in strange ways. He may become irritable, distant or suddenly unusually busy and unavailable.

Strange as it seems, he is probably more willing to let you go and lose you altogether than jump headfirst into his fear of emotional intimacy. Men are wimps when it comes to sharing their most vulnerable feelings.

Troubleshooting Tip: This is why you have to play it cool. Don’t force the issue. Give him space and concentrate more on letting him know you feel the same way he does. That means:

· You’re a little afraid too and that’s okay. It’s okay to take it slow, for both of you.
· Be open and willing to talk about feelings but be patient when he wants time alone.
· Reassure him (without going overboard or being too melodramatic) that you do have feelings for him and that you do understand him.
· Let him know that you’re on the same page and want to explore these matters whenever he thinks it’s time to do so.
· Let him know you’re not going anywhere, or leaving him, or getting bored of him, etc.

And remember, when in doubt, give him more of what initially attracted him to you in the first place. If he always admired your intelligence, engage him in heady subjects he likes to talk about. If you shared common goals or values, spend more time discussing those things.

Sometimes all a man needs is time to sort his feelings out and realize that he’s in love with you. And when that moment of realization comes, he becomes putty in your hand!

The Truth About Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others

Have you ever wondered why a man will marry one women yet only want a casual relationship with another?

Have you ever heard a man say that he doesn’t want anything “serious” only to end up in a committed relationship a few weeks later with another woman?

Have you ever felt like you finally found something real with a man… only to have him go cold on you or pull away completely?

The reason this happens maybe be upsetting to you but I promise it’s actually really good news.

Men don’t pull away, disappear, and go cold because they’re bad people…

And they don’t avoid getting into a serious relationship because they’re afraid of commitment.

A man avoids getting into a relationship with a woman because he has doubts that she’s the right woman for him.

He feels like something’s missing…

Like he could probably do better…

If you want a man to feel like you’re the one, there’s one very specific thing that you must do…

Click here to find out what it is <<

After 12 years of working in the dating industry and reaching well over 3 million women, all over the world with my newsletter, interviews, and advice…

I’ve tracked the patterns that women who end up in successful relationships do and here’s what I found…

There’s one key difference between women who end up having a man pursue them for a serious relationship and women who end up single, alone, and frustrated…

Can you guess what it is?

Click here to watch the video and find out <<

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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